Lifestyle · Personal

Luna; The kitty that made me a cat mom

It was November 17th when my roommate moved out. She was taking her cat Angel back with her to her new place. I’ve only lived with her a few months at this point, but having her take away her pet that I became so close to, sucked.

I was sad that there wasn’t a pet around to play with, cuddle with, and take care of. I love animals, especially cats. I haven’t had my own cat since I was younger.

I remember being so sad, and my boyfriend turned around, looked at me and said, ‘you wanna go to Petsmart?’

My eyes lit up. I knew what he meant by ‘going to Petsmart’. We were going to get a kitty. Weeks before, we were looking at cats at shelters and Petsmart because I wanted to get one so bad. My roommate’s cat had feline leukemia, so I couldn’t have another cat of my own around hers. We were looking for one to get once she moved out, but couldn’t find the right cat.

We decided to head to Petsmart and start looking again that night for another cat.  I couldn’t contain my excitement. We drove up to the store and my heart was already beating fast in anticipation.

We get there and I run inside to the cat section. And there. she. was.

She was curled up in a bed. I always feel so bad when I see cats in shelters because they have such small living spaces. She was curled up in her bed in her little cage. I didn’t even care, all I knew is that I wanted to take her home with me.

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They let us interact with her for a bit, but I knew I wanted her right away. They told us that she had feline herpes, to see if we still wanted her. I didn’t care. It’s easy to help control. But it broke my heart when they said she was returned because of this condition. Feline herpes happens, but it doesn’t mean the cat is defective.

We purchased all of her items, got her a carrier, even a cute little heart shaped name tag. We took her home to welcome her to her new life with us.

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The first night we had Luna. 

I’ve had Luna for almost a year now. We’ve dealt with ear mites, a move into a whole new apartment, and many other adventures and experiences. I love cats, and I love my kitty. It’s nice to have a pet that will always be there to comfort you, and cuddle you. People might think that cats are just ‘stupid animals’ but they’re not. They’re so much more. Adopt your own kitty and see what I mean.

-ss

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Personal

I suffer from a mental illness. #EndTheStigma

Trigger Warning// Self-harm & Depression.

“My name is Sara. I’m 23 years old and I suffer from social anxiety, general anxiety disorder, and depression,” I typed into the Twitter text box, then paused. Should I be so open about my mental illnesses? I have always been shamed about it, or told to be quiet. 

It is hard to talk about mental illnesses. Some people can be quite accepting and helpful when we tell them; for others, it is a different story. 

When I was 19 years old, I decided to finally ask my doctor about my anxiety and depression. For years, I just thought I was over sensitive and sad. I was always told to ‘just get over it’. Well, I figured if it hasn’t gone away in 7 years, there must be a problem. 

I talked to my doctor and she prescribed me a generic version of Zoloft. I remember sitting in the doctor’s office trying to explain my depression and anxiety to her. It was hard trying to open up to someone. Especially someone I’m not really close to. It honestly made me tear up. After the appointment, I felt better though. I felt like I was actually making an effort to control my illness. 

At this point in life, I was still living with my mom. Little did I know, I forgot my pharmacy called my mom’s house phone once the prescription was ready. She knew I had just picked up my birth control the other day so she knew it was something else. She asked me what it was, and I told her it was medication for my anxiety and depression. What she said still hurts till this day, honestly. “You’re too young to have depression. What problems do you have?”  

It hurt a lot knowing that even my own mother refused to acknowledge my problems. I wanted to get help, but at this point I felt stupid for asking for help. Asking for help is hard sometimes.  

I wanted to go see a therapist, to see if that would help me. But, living with my mom still, I was unsure where to look. What places would take my insurance? Would my mom find out and get mad at me again? 

I stayed on the Zoloft for about a year until I tried to convince myself I didn’t need antidepressants, because people made me feel bad for using them. I was even involved with a guy who told me I didn’t need them, because ‘you can heal depression naturally’. Ok. 

So I stopped taking the pills. Did I get better? Of course not. 

It seemed to just get worse. I ended a not-so-great relationship. I never felt good enough, I hated myself, and he cheated on me, which lead me to self-harm because I never felt good enough. I hate the feeling of not feeling like enough for someone. After ending the relationship, things got somewhat better. I then moved, and homesickness got to me. I moved three hours away from home to pursue my college degree. I felt lonely because I didn’t have many friends for a while when I first moved here. I was lonely, exhausted, and homesick. I didn’t get out much. 

This past winter, seasonal depression hit me hard. I failed a class the previous Fall semester, I hated what I was majoring in, and other emotions. I had no motivation to do anything over Christmas Break, I didn’t have much money to my name, and I couldn’t buy many Christmas gifts for my loved ones. I spent most of Winter taking long naps in my comfy bed. I didn’t want to leave home. Self-harm happened some days.

This past March, I finally saw a therapist. I found a doctor in my new town that took my insurance, and a therapist who worked on site at the doctor’s office as well. My new doctor tested some new antidepressants on me. I am now currently on 20 mg of Lexapro, which has helped me out a ton. I started seeing the therapist, and it was very hard at first to talk to someone I didn’t even know, about my problems.  

 In no means am I cured of my depression, anxiety or social anxiety, but I’m trying every day.

——-

 Depression is hard. It doesn’t just go away. It’s hard to wake up, it’s hard to get out of bed, it’s hard to have any motivation. I felt this way for years, I get it.  I guess the whole point of this post is to end the stigma. We shouldn’t have to hide the fact or acted ashamed because we have depression. Over 3 million people worldwide suffer from depression. You can be a teenager, young adult, or even older and suffer from this disease. I’m not “proud” or anything that I have depression, but I want people to know they are not alone. If one person talks about it, it can be easier for the next person. It could even encourage said person to seek help, if they are too afraid to.  

Talking about our problems can help. It was hard for me at first to talk about my depression to anyone, but it shouldn’t have to be. 

 

-ss

books · Lifestyle

Monthly Book Recommendation #1

Good evening fellow blog readers!

Aside from writing, one of my favorite things to do is read. (That should be a given.) So I’m deciding to do book recommendations from now on. Yay!

The first book I am going to recommend is one I read recently in my book club.

“Artemis” by Andy Weir

“Jazz Bashara is a criminal.

Well, sort of. Life on Artemis, the first and only city on the moon, is tough if you’re not a rich tourist or an eccentric billionaire. So smuggling in the occasional harmless bit of contraband barely counts, right? Not when you’ve got debts to pay and your job as a porter barely covers the rent.

Everything changes when Jazz sees the chance to commit the perfect crime, with a reward too lucrative to turn down. But pulling off the impossible is just the start of her problems, as she learns that she’s stepped square into a conspiracy for control of Artemis itself—and that now, her only chance at survival lies in a gambit even riskier than the first.” 

(Synopsis from Goodreads.com)

This is a good one. If you like Sci-Fi, you’ll definitely love this one.

It has a strong female lead, it’s action-packed, and it’s about life on the moon. What more could you ask for?

With some books, I have a hard time pushing through the book. I have to force myself to keep reading. Artemis was one of those books where I didn’t feel that way. I finished the book in about 3 days (which is quick for myself).

When reading, some books have little quirks and whatnot that seem to bother me. Artemis is one of those books that I didn’t find anything wrong with. I enjoyed the dark and crude humor, personally. I enjoyed Jazz’s care-free, fuck you attitude. (I love that in a female character.) The book leaves you wanting more. You want to know what trouble Jazz is going to get into next. What will be her next dilemma? How will she solve it?

Overall, I gave the book a 5/5 rating. I would recommend it, and I’m interested in reading more of Weir’s books.

-ss

 

Link to Book on Goodreads: https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/34928122-artemis

Add me as a friend on Goodreads as well! 🙂    https://www.goodreads.com/user/show/5916993-sara

College Life · Personal

It’s OK to Work All Summer.

Lately this summer, I’ve been a little bitter. I’ll admit it.

I’ll log on to Facebook, Twitter, or Instagram, and I’ll see one of my many social media friends who are on vacation. There are pictures of them drinking mojitos on the beach in Italy, Greece, or some other country that seems like a magical paradise I will never be able to see myself. (Well, hopefully I will one day.)

Every time I saw one of these posts; I rolled my eyes. How dare they have fun while I’m at work all day.  I even picked up a second job over summer break, because I just wasn’t busy enough. Also, I wanted extra money to actually pay off my debts. For the first few weeks, I was bummed because everyone around me seemed to be having exciting summer adventures, or going to concerts, or going on exquisite vacations.

I was pretty annoyed by these posts for the first part of my summer, but I got over it. I’m still jealous though. They’re lucky to get the opportunity to vacation in such beautiful places.

I had to keep telling myself; It’s okay to be busy all summer. It’s okay to save up money. It’s okay to work hard all summer.

I graduated high school 5 years ago in June. (Go Class of 2013!) Ever since then, I’ve had a job. Every summer, I’ve had to work. My friends would ask me to go hang out with them, but sadly I would always have to reply “Can’t, I’m at work rn.” It sucked, but you get used to it.

Every summer, I get bummed because I’m busy working, trying to save up money for the next college semester. But I have to keep reminding myself that it’s okay.

It’s okay to be busy all summer. Sure, you may not be having as much fun as everyone else, but in the end it will pay off. I’ll have more money saved up. I’ll be able to focus more on college when the semester starts. I’ll also be able to afford more things if I work more.

If you’re working one, two, or maybe even three jobs this summer. Try to stay positive. There are plenty of people out there who are in the same boat.

We got this.

College Life · Lifestyle

10 Websites & Apps You Should Check Out If You’re In College

Hi everyone! Today I’m going over my list of favorite websites. Some are great for college itself, and others are just personal favorites of mine at the moment.

  1. Goodreads.com: This is the perfect social media website for book lovers. You can find new books, create lists for books you’ve read, want to read, or are currently reading. You can also add people you know to see what they’re reading and suggesting.
  2. Quizlet.com: A lifesaver during exams. Create flashcards for classes, lectures, chapters, etc. You can share them with others to help them as well, or search for other peoples flashcard sets, and maybe you’ll already find some made up.
  3. Grammarly.com: This website is great, especially if you have trouble with editing and spelling. You can also download the Google Chrome app to have Grammarly spellcheck everything you type up online as well.
  4. Ratemyprofessors.com: A popular choice among us college students, this website lets you see reviews of professors from the college of your choice. Search up a professor for a class you are registered for to see what you are in for. Past students review professors to help the people of the future out. (It’s saved me a few times.)
  5. Canva.com: If you are in need of graphics for Instagram, Facebook, Twitter or any social media website, this is your place to start. You can also create designs for flyers, brochures and more. It’s great for organizations, and it’s free to use!
  6. 8fit.com : Also an app for your phone, 8fit will help you record your workouts, meals, etc. It will also remind you to work out every day you set a schedule. This app also gives set workouts for you to do at home as well.
  7. Easybib.com:  Need help on how to cite your sources? Easybib.com can do just that. We all have to write papers during our college career; Easybib can help you format all your sources if you aren’t sure how to do so.
  8. Mint.com: Also an app, this website helps us track our expenses, our bills, and our money. We could all use help budgeting, and this app is perfect for college kids.
  9. GroupMe: This app is the perfect tool for when you’re put into that group of random people you don’t know, but you all want to get your project done. Use group me to communicate and send pictures. I used it for my last group project because we couldn’t meet up in person all the time.
  10. Honey.com: Add this application to your Google Chrome browser, and start saving money. Honey collects coupon codes for websites you use for shopping, and when you go to check out, Honey will calculate the best coupon code for your purchases. I’ve actually saved quite a bit over the years using this website.
Personal

To The Boy Who Loved Me When I Was At My Lowest; Thank You.

What can I say? Thank you. Thank you for everything.

Thank you for being there for me when I was down, when I was depressed, when I was at my lowest. You saw parts of me that no one else has ever saw.

You’ve seen the scars that I would hide from everyone else. You didn’t judge me, you tried to understand why. You tried to make it better for me so I would stop.

The other people I’ve been with; they just didn’t understand. They told me to ‘get over it’ or ‘stop being so sad’. But you understood that it was more than just being sad.

Thank you for not pushing me away. It was my biggest fear. Who wants to love a girl who is messed up? Many people just don’t want to deal with it. It’s too much work.

But you didn’t leave, you didn’t run away. You stayed with me through it all.

And for that, I can’t thank you enough.

Lifestyle · Makeup

10 Quality, But Affordable Makeup Products.

For those of us in college, being a makeup lover isn’t always the easiest. Trust me, I get it,  make up can be expensive. But it doesn’t have to be. There are plenty of products to choose from that will do the same job for an affordable price for us on a budget.

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  1. Wet n’ Wild PhotoFocus Foundation $6

Many people seem to forget about Wet n’ Wild products because they are considered the ‘cheap brand’, but honestly, they have some of the best products out there for someone on a budget. This concealer does wonders for people who need the coverage. Especially if you have red spots or rosy cheeks such as myself. It covers well, and it stays on.

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  1. Wet n’ Wild Highlighters $5

These are some of my favorite make up products. For only 5 dollars, these incredibly cute & beautiful highlighters can be yours. They have a great color and shine.

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  1. Wet n’ Wild PhotoFocus Matte Face Primer $5

Face primer is a great product to use, especially when applying foundation afterwards. I found that Wet N’ Wild’s Matte Face Primer is a great choice for that. It helps your foundation apply easier, and it will help cover your face better.

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  1. Nyx Matte Lipsticks $8

Nyx is also a great brand, with affordable prices. Their lipsticks are great quality and stay on through almost anything.

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  1. Maybelline Fit Me! Matte Powder $6

Maybelline’s Fit Me! Matte Powder comes in a range of colors and provides great coverage for your powder needs.

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  1. Maybelline Masterfix Setting Spray $10

Compare to Urban Decay’s setting spray, I found that this cheaper version of setting spray will also get the job done. Apply a face of makeup, and use setting spray to keep it in place all day.

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  1. Maybelline Master Graphic Liquid Eye Liner $7

A great choice for liquid eye liner. It has a pointed edge tip to get your eye liner wings just perfect.

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  1. Hard Candy Baked Eye Shadows $6

If you love anything with glitter or sparkles, Hard Candy is a good brand to wear. Glitter galore, these cheap eye shadows will apply easily and stay on all day.

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  1. e.l.f. Blush $4

Another underrated makeup brand, e.l.f. is an affordable choice. Their blushes come in plenty of colors to choose from. Pick the perfect color for your cheeks and enjoy.

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  1. Neutrogena Healthy Volume Waterproof Mascara $7

 This mascara gives your eye lashes great volume and a great look for only 7 dollars. It’s also waterproof! I love the coverage and the face that it stays on through everything you encounter in your day.